The Day The World Went Mad
by Gonzales512
Summary: WTF? Yoshi gets diarrhea, Peach gets kidnapped by a mosquito, Sonic gets sued, Link’s getting deported, and more stories of insanity occurs in this story.
1. Chapter 1

**The Day The World Went Mad**

Gonzales512

* * *

It was yet another hot sunny day in the Super Smash Bros. Mansion (what am I saying. Everyone calls it a mansion and me being unoriginal? Lemme start over.)

It was yet another hot sunny day in the Super Smash Bros. Igloo. (That's better.) Yes, it did get cold all of a sudden when I said that but that's how it is. There was snow around the icy dome-shaped building. Inside the Super Smash Bros. Igloo, it was just another normal day. Luigi was watching the weather channel as the weather guy reported.

Today, in the Mushroom Kingdom, the high will be 60 degrees and lows will be at 30 degrees. Gusts will be at 50 mph.

Then Mario comes into the igloo.

"Mario, will ya close the door," said Luigi. You're letting the heat out."

Mario closed the door as he walked inside the frozen igloo and looked at the frozen TV.

"Umm, why are you looking at a blank TV?" asked Mario.

"Blank?" said Luigi. "No I'm watching..." he turned around to see the frozen TV not working.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! THE TV's FROZEN. HOW AM I GONNA WATCH MY FAVORITE SHOWS?!11?!"

"Or play Wii?" Mario frowned.

Then Princess Peach comes out yawning.

"What is all the ruckus?" she said as she yawned. It's barely 4 in the morning."

"THE TV's NOT WORKING!" Luigi cried.

"Can't you do something else?"

"Hmm..."

"Oh! I know," said Peach. "We can play some Wii."

"The TV is _broken_," said Luigi.

"Oh yeah, I forgot," said Peach. "I'm going to my room real quick to see if we have other stuff."

Peach walked into her room. Meanwhile, Luigi was still staring at the frozen TV wondering what they were going to do with it now that it's not working.

"Stupid mosquito," Peach groaned as she searched for something to do. "Why did God come up with mosquitoes in the first place?"

Then they hear a scream from Peach's room.

"Oh my god!" screamed Peach.

"HOLY CRAP," said Mario as he came into the room just to see Peach get kidnapped once again.

"What, did Bowser kidnap her again," said Luigi from the other room.

Then suddenly, Bowser comes out of nowhere and starts choking Luigi like Homer Simpson.

"Why do you always blame ME!" growled Bowser as he was choking Luigi.

Mario, who heard the ruckus from the other room sighed, "It's barely 4 and this day has already gone to hell."

* * *

Meanwhile, Fox was just waking up when he heard windows shatter. No not an actual window, a computer comes flying into his room out of nowhere.

"Finally, a new computer," said Fox. "Hadn't had one of those in ages... since Link broke my last one," he said as he threw a rock at Link.

"Oww, I did not break your laptop," Link defended his argument.

"You were on MySpace for like five days straight that you practically wore down my computer."

"But it didn't break, until I threw it out the window... uh oh!"

"You _IDIOT_! I knew it," Fox yelled as he started to chase Link around until Link crashed into Bowser, who was still choking Luigi, whose face was a deep blue. The collision causes Bowser to drop Luigi and finally regain his breath.

"Ah, thank god for weak _links_," sighed Luigi in relief.

"Did you just say that I was WEAK?" Link yelled. "How dare you."

Then the smashers got into a big fight until Roy comes out of nowhere.

"What's going on?" the redhead asked.

"We have a serious situation," said Mario. That calmed everyone down. "The Princess got kidnapped again."

"Then why is Bowser still here?" asked Roy.

"Why you little," Bowser roared as he started choking Roy.

"Ahem, ignore those losers," said Mario. "Anyways, the Princess got kidnapped again but by a mosquito. It was awful."

"She'd probably have killed it by then," said Fox.

"But what if it has West Nile," said Yoshi, just coming from his room to make his first scene of the story.

"Look," said Mario. "This is no joke. She got kidnapped by a mosquito and we must save her."

"Looks like we've got ourselves an adventure," said Yoshi.

"I'll stay here," said Fox.

"Suit yourself," said Mario.

Later during the morning, they stopped to fill up on gas. The cost of gas: 4.09 per gallon. (BTW, PM me if you have 4 dollar gas in your area. I'm doing a survey.) So they got off at the Cheveron Gas Station and Yoshi looks around and finds a restaraunt.

"Hey guys," said Yoshi. "I remember Sonic telling me he was opening a restaurant. Wanna come?"

"No thanks," said the rest of the Smashers.

"Your loss," said Yoshi as he skipped to the restaurant.

The rest waited patiently as the car filled up with gas.

"So, who's paying the gas," said Luigi. "I'm not cuz I paid last time. Can you believe it? 60 bucks for just 15 gallons. What a rip-off."

"Well I'm not," said Mario. "Cuz I already pay the cable bill."

"Yeah but I suspended the service since the TV broke. So I guess you're gonna have to pay."

"Fine," groaned Mario as he handed Luigi a 100 dollar bill.

Twenty minutes later, Yoshi finally comes back from Sonic's restaurant and ready to hit the road.

"Finally, how much did you eat?" said Mario.

"Man, their food is delicious. We should come back on our way back home.

"Glad you're happy. Now let's hit the road.

So the brave smashers have set off on their journey to save Princess Peach from the mosquito. What will happen next? What will happen to Fox and the computer? What other insanity will go on. Only one way to find out.

See ya!

* * *

**Author's Notes:** I hope you enjoyed this first chapter. Now for a quiz. If anyone gets this right, they will be mention in my "Readers who knew what was gonna happen" section next chapter. Maybe I'll come up with a better name by then...

Who do you think is gonna sue Sonic?


	2. Chapter 2

**The Day The World Went Mad**

**Chapter 2**

Back at the Super Smash Bros. Igloo, Fox was hooking up the mysterious box to a computer monitor and turned on the computer. It showed the picture of Microsoft Windows 2000 Professional as the computer booted and a progress bar filled up. Then he logged in and surprisingly, there was no password for the Administrator. So he just logged in.

The desktop was a mess. There were icons, files, folders, and all kind of crap everywhere on the desktop. (mine too. I need to be more organized lol) But then suddenly, a weird computer virus pops out on the screen and jumps out of the screen, attacking Fox.

"Ack! My face! _My_ _beautiful face_," Fox cried as the red virus scratched his face. He grabs out his gun and shoots the virus, killing it.

Then he aimed at the computer.

"Die computer!" he said as he shot it but found out he had no bullets left.

"Damn, why am I always out of bullets at the wrong place at the wrong time," Fox growled as he reloaded the gun when more viruses popped out, armed. One of them took out a bazooka and aims at Fox.

"Who are you guys," Fox said, shaking as his arms went up.

"We are the Mysterious Virus of the Computer and we are here to… _**KIDNAP YOU!**_"

(insert dramatic sound here)

"Oh yeah, since when was your face beautiful?" asked the computer virus.

"Just take him," screamed another virus.

"W-w-w-wh-WHAT!" screamed Fox, but it was too late. The viruses had already tied Fox and threw him into the computer screen and he was absorbed into the screen. Then the viruses jumped in.

Then that's when Dr. Mario comes in. "What's going on?" he asked but saw nothing but a computer that looked normal.

"Cool! A computer. Haven't seen one of those in a while," Dr. Mario said as he got on the internet and searched for stuff.

* * *

Meanwhile, back on the road, Yoshi, Mario, Luigi, Roy, Bowser, and Link were on the way to save that one princess that always gets herself kidnapped. They were on the 4 lane freeway for about an hour of backed up traffic as they advanced only 30 miles.

"Why don't they widen up this stupid freeway," Mario growled.

"Yeah," said Link sarcastically. "I have to drive through here every day just to get to work!" said Link as he was reminded of a different day.

It was another day in the Super Smash City, capital of the Smash World. Link was driving to work and as usual, traffic was backed up. And Link was mad because Zelda beat him up that morning because he commented on how Peach's toast was better than Zelda's toast.

Link was on the fourth lane so he just pulled into the shoulder and started to drive on the shoulder, passing all of the cars in the virtual parking lot. That's when a police car pulls into the shoulder and started to chase Link's car.

"Holy crap," Link said as he saw the lights in his rear-view mirror. That's when he made a sudden turned onto the other lane, through the concrete barrier and started driving against traffic. Then he saw the police car busting through the concrete barrier, continuing the chase and explodes. Link got a sense of relief flowing into him, until he saw a tank with its cannon pointing at him and fires it at his car. Link jumped out just in time to see his car explode.

"Aww, great! How am I gonna get to work now?"

But the tank ignored Link and pointed the cannon at him. That was when he ran in between the cars stopped on the freeway and jumps at a nearby Sonic Drive In. But then the Sonic restaurant explodes and runs into an alley as the explosion chased him and Link runs away from it like a scene from Rush Hour. As Link ran away, he saw a black car with the words "FBI" on it. And two guys with guns jumped out of it before the car exploded. Link was cornered. Two FBI guys in one end of the alley, the explosion on the other end. But then he saw a ladder but when he got on it, it exploded.

"Has this world gone MAD!" Link wanted to punch someone as the FBI guys came.

"Um… I think that's what this fanfic is called," said one FBI guy, breaking the fourth wall.

"Yeah, wait. I forgot why we were here," said the other FBI guy.

"I was just getting to work and all of this happens," said Link. "I wondered what happened…"

"And that's what happened to me that day," Link said as he finished his story.

"That's interesting. Maybe you should ask the author to write something completely insane like that?" said Mario as traffic started moving again.

"Yeah," said Link in an announcer's voice. "I will do just that. Next Chapter."

"Chicken."

"Wuss."

"Weak Links."

"Why you little," Link yelled as he started to choke Luigi again and Luigi gagged.

"Will you guys stop screwing around," said Mario. "We still need to focus on our main objective. Save that princess."

"Uh… Yeah!" said Link as they continued the rest of the day stuck in traffic as a freeway sign in the distance exploded.

* * *

A/N: Well, unfortunately, nobody who reviewed for the first answer about the question I asked at the end of the chapter got the answer right. I'll give you a hint. It has nothing to do with video games Hopefully this hint helps you to get the answer. You have one more chance to get it right as the answer is revealed the next chapter. If you want to know the question, its back in chapter one. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Thanks for reading and review.

Special thanks to Yoshizilla, Atomic Cube and paranoidsocialclub for the reviews. You guys are great!


	3. Chapter 3

**The Day The World Went Mad**

Chapter 3

After hours of being stuck on the freeway, the Smashers finally got moving again. It was another slow day as angered road rage drivers slowly drove on the clogged-up artery of the outskirts of Smash City on Interstate 580. (My roads are based off of real roads) They were going through mountains and the area was pretty remote. But traffic was moving faster than the last chapter and the chapter before that.

* * *

Meanwhile, back at the Super Smash Bros. Igloo, Ness was on eBay looking for something that can successfully annoy the Ice Climbers. As he was searching on eBay, the Ice Climbers found out that he was looking on eBay for something to annoy them. They came out of nowhere and started hitting him with their hammers. Then out of nowhere, Clippit, that stupid paperclip that appears in Microsoft Word, pops out.

"It looks like you're trying to beat up Ness. Would you like help?" Clippit said.

Popo clicked yes in the bubble next to Clippit and then comes out of the screen and beats the living hell out of Ness. He uses his wiry frame to scratch him, kick him, punch him, and then soon, they were wrestling with each other.

"Get HIM," yelled Pichu, as they were starting to get a crowd.

"Don't let that paper-clip get you," said Donkey Kong.

"You need help with that," said Dr. Mario, carrying a jar full of steroids.

* * *

Meanwhile, Sonic's restaurant was a big hit, with thousands of customers coming every day. They were getting more people than all of the restaurants around combined. And most important, is the money that was rolling in. But all of this will become interrupted as five guys wearing tuxedos walked in the restaurant and took a mean look at Sonic. Sonic pressed a hidden button on the podium where he was standing to greet the customers.

Then out of nowhere, Chuck Norris and starts beating up the guys and the rest of those who didn't get beat up ran away.

"Thanks Chuck," said Sonic as Chuck Norris walked away.

But then one of the guys returned. And he stood in front of Sonic and destroyed the button that was on the podium.

"Hello, Sonic," he said. "I'm, Dr. Eggman. I'm here to destroy your pathetic little business."

"Why my business? Why don't you blow up the Sonic drive-in across the street?" Sonic said. "Or Shadow's bomb store. He's the one who rigged City Hall with explosives."

Meanwhile, at City Hall…

"Mr. Mayor," said a businessman. "Can we talk about lowering taxes?"

KABOOOOOOM!!

"Holy crap," said the Mayor. "That Wal-Mart just exploded."

Meanwhile, at Wal-Mart…

People were running, screaming, and running for their lives as the giant Wal-Mart exploded. Oh, and did I mention that Wal-Marts in the Mushroom Kingdom sold gas. Marth was one of those people running away from the blaze.

"Waaaaah!!" he cried. "Waaaaaaaaaaaaaa– HOLY CRAP I FORGOT MY WALLET!"

Then he ran back into the Wal-Mart, which was already burning. Then a random Bob-omb walks in the Wal-Mart, explodes, and the entire store collapses.

* * *

"What was that," said Eggman.

"Um, nothing. I just said– HOLY CRAP, THAT WAL-MART JUST EXPLODED!" Sonic yelled.

Everyone in the restaurant gasped.

"Oh no!" cried a customer. "Now where am I gonna get gas for 1.49."

"Where am I gonna get gas at ALL!" screamed someone else. "It's the only gas station in town!"

Then everyone gasped again.

"Wait, is it because I ruin all your plans all the time?"

Then Sideshow Bob from the Simpsons comes in and mistakes Dr. Eggman for Bart and kills him.

* * *

Back on the freeway, Mario was having a hard time keeping up with traffic. The reason? Those Smashers were hanging out next to a broken sign saying "Interstate 580" and with a rock on top of the car. The rest of the traffic however, was flowing smoothly just 50 feet away and just scaling a steep slope.

"How can you just drive off the road like that?" yelled Yoshi. "I thought you were king of kart racing."

"Finally, we got someone who drives worse than Zelda," said Link.

"**MARIO OFFICIALLY SUCKS AT DRIVING!!"** yelled Luigi.

"Yay!" cheered Roy. "I can finally drive better than someone!"

Then Yoshi got a phone call. It was from Princess Peach.

"Hello," answered Yoshi.

"Help me!" cried Peach. "The Mosquito said that it would give me Malaria if you guys don't bring a million dollars to him. Where are you guys?"

"Right in the middle of Mushroom Pass, between the two freeway lanes. Mario really knows how to drive off a freeway."

"Don't let him bother you. Just bring the cash so I can be saved. Remember that..."

"Ack! Stupid phone," said Yoshi as he got mad. "Why do I keep losing signal?"

"Maybe cuz your phone sucks." said Mario.

"Not as much as your driving skills."

"You wanna go you little dinosaur."

"I'll beat you up you chubby plumber."

Then a huge rock came out of nowhere and crushed Roy.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Luigi cried.

So the group of Smashers who were supposed to save Princess Peach from the evil mosquito, ended up driving off the busy four-lane freeway, plunging 50 feet down and down, just 100 feet away from the other four lanes of oncoming traffic, and getting someone crushed by a stupid rock and someone else getting shot by James Bond. With 10 miles still to go, which is a lot of walking for lazy people, how are they going to get out of this mess now?

* * *

Back at the Igloo, Ness, Ganodorf, and Young Link were sporting their brand new 72 inch, plasma TV. Ness heard something drop in the mailbox and decided to go check. Seconds later, he came back with a few letters.

"Okay," said Ness. "I've got three for Mario, one for Young Link, two for Fox, one for Link from the DMV cuz he drives badly, and… Woohoo! I got one too! HOORAY!" Ness screamed excitedly like a little girl as he opened up but then frowned when he saw the heading.

"Jury duty?" questioned Ness. "JURY DUTY?!" Ness was getting mad.

"That's what happens when you register to vote," said Kirby, just walking in.

"Do you know what I've been through today?" Ness pointed out. "This morning, I got _**violated**_ by a paper-clip. The Ice Climbers beat me up. A blue Yoshi ate the last piece of pie. And now this?"

"Well, I think jury duty is fun since you get to make fun of the guy getting sued," said Young Link.

"You're too young to even vote in the first place," said Kirby.

"Well, I think it's funny," said Young Link.

"Yeah but I wonder who's getting sued?" Ness asked.

* * *

A/N: I don't know why I'm obsessed into making Wal-Mart explode, collapse, burn, blow up, or get destroyed in almost every story. By the way, I won't be writing for a while, since I got a virus on my computer and freezes unexpectedly. So don't expect updates soon until I get that fixed.

SPECIAL THANKS to: Atomic Cube, Drrockz, gasserxbeauty. Thanks for the reviews. I appreciate it )


	4. Chapter 4

**The Day The World Went Mad**

**Chapter 4**

**A/N:** Here you go FEMM. Chapter 4 for TDTWWM :)

I had to rewrite this entire chapter due to the hard disk failure in my laptop, where the chapter was almost done so it was lost. Plus, most of other new stories I was writing were lost too. Sorry.

* * *

Back at the Smash Igloo, Dr. Mario was busy on the computer when the phone rang.

Rrrrrrrrrrring... rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrring.

"Hello?"

"Dr. Mario. It's Peach," Peach answered.

"HOLY CRAP. WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN!?" shouted Dr. Mario.

"I'm in a castle, trapped by a ginormous mosquito. He said that he'd give me Malaria if you guys don't bring him a million dollars to him.

"A MILLION DOLLARS? Who do I look like, the governor of New York? All I do is prescribe medicine and stuff."

"Well, those idiots crashed so now you're my only hope now."

"Okay, I'll go as soon as possible. Okay?"

"Bye," said Peach as they hung up.

"Okay, now back to what I was doing."

Then the computer started acting weird again and a virus popped out of the screen, attacking Dr. Mario.

"Arrrgh, my face, my – "

"That's what Fox said earlier," yelled Ike across the hallway.

"Well, don't just stand there, HELP ME!"

Then Ike stepped into the room Dr. Mario was in.

"Arrrgh, you son of a pizza. Let go!"

Then Ike slashed all of the Viruses but reformed.

"I can't do anything," yelled Ike.

"Here, try this," said Dr. Mario as he threw a bottle of pills.

"Viagra? I don't have erectile dysfunction."

"Use it on the viruses," said Dr. Mario.

Ike threw some Viagra pills on the viruses, causing them to explode. Then eventually, the room was virus free.

"I think I may know what happened to Fox," said Ike as he pointed to the computer.

"Right, now we must save them. Now who's gonna save the princess?"

"I will," yelled a happily ecstatic Pichu.

"I'll save the princess."

"Aren't you a little young for these types of journeys?" asked Ike. "They can get pretty tough."

"Yeah, but... HOLY CRAP! THE GOVERNMENT IS HERE!" Pichu yelled.

"Where," yelled Dr. Mario since he was an illegal immigrant but found out that Pichu had disappeared.

"Great, we've got jerks who crash, a stupid pokemon who thinks he can save the princess, and Fox gets kidnapped. We must save him and get inside the computer."

Then as if on cue, a warp portal appeared. Dr. Mario and Ike stepped in and got absorbed inside the computer.

* * *

It was a rough night as Mario, Luigi, Link, Yoshi, and a flattened Roy were stepping on the floors of the Luigi City Police Department; all of them with handcuffs on. The police officer removed the handcuffs as they were locked up in a cell.

"Oh great, she's doomed now," Mario growled. "We're doomed too."

"Well, it's all your fault," said Link. "Ya could've let me drive. I pwn everyone in driving."

"Yeah, and what about these," Yoshi said as he pulled out hundreds and hundreds of letters from the DMV addressed to Link that was received just yesterday. Yoshi opened up one of them.

_Dear Link What's-his-face_

_On 6-23-08, you passed a red light at the intersection of 9th and K street. You will be charged 378 dollars in fines._

Then Yoshi opened up another one.

_Dear Link What's-his-face again_

_On 6-23-08, you passed a red light at the intersection of 9th and L street. You will be charged 378 dollars in fines and a point to your driving record._

Then Yoshi opened yet another one.

* * *

_Dear Mr. Terrible, wannabe driver_

_On 6-23-08, you passed a red light at the intersection of 9th and M street. You will be charged 378 dollars in fines and 2 points to your driving record. Additionally, you crashed into an undercover patrol car doing a bust, costing us to lose the criminal so you will be charged with Obstruction. And the car was also owned by Immigration so you will get in big trouble. Additionally, you drove in the drive-thru of McDonald's and killed Ronald McDonald and the Burger King, who apparently got into a fight. Just cuz it's called a Drive-Thru, doesn't mean that you literally have to drive through the store. So you're free since you got those idiots out of the streets._

* * *

"Yay!" Link shouted. "I'm free. Fresh air!" yelled Link as he squeezed through a random hole that appeared out of nowhere.

"Wait, where did that hole come from?" asked Luigi.

"Who cares, at least it leads us out of jail. Let's go," said Mario.

So everyone jumped in the hole and went through hundreds of miles but finally reached the exit and jumped out of the hole. They saw a white 4-tower suspension bridge and a large city out in the distance.

"Well, at least we're not in jail anymore," said Yoshi.

"But look at all the water," Luigi pointed out. They were stranded on an island, with no way out. And it got worse.

"Hey," yelled someone. "Some guys are trying to escape."

_Escape? Holy crap,_ thought Mario as he saw a sign that titled:

"**Welcome To Alcatraz Losers!"**

_Where everyone gets free mossburgers for the rest of their life... or as long as they're here._

"RUN," yelled Mario as they saw a boat nearby.

"Quickly," yelled the security guard. "We've got two plumbers, a dinosaur, a guy shaped like a pancake, and some gay guy with a sword," yelled the guard into his radio.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY! I'LL PWN YOU SO BAD, THAT YOU WISH YOU WERE NEVER BORN," yelled Link producing a look that could even kill Chuck Norris as the prison guard ran away and yelped like a puppy.

"Wow," said Mario. "That was weird. Do that again, or I'll tell the world _**your secret.**_

(insert dramatic sound... or the most wtf sound you can think of)

"I KILL YOU AND REVIVE YOU WITH A 1-UP AND KILL YOU OVER AGAIN!" yelled Link but Luigi was already across the bay in San Francisco.

"Awesome, now the annoying people can get away. Let's get on the boat."

Mario, Yoshi, Link, and Roy got on the boat and sailed off to San Francisco to meet with Luigi, who was already munching on a Double Quarter Pounder (would that make that a half-pounder OO)

They were in the middle of the Bay when they crashed into a whale, causing a hole in the boat, causing it to start sinking.

"Noooooooooo! I can't swim," Yoshi panicked.

"I don't wanna die," yelled Roy.

"Shut up pancake dude, we need to think of a plan," said Link.

"No, it's too late. Good-bye cruel world," said Mario.

* * *

A/N: Is their adventure about to end sadly, or is something retarded gonna save them. And are Dr. Mario and Ike gonna save Fox. And will Pichu reach the princess before everyone else do? Find out next time (evil grin).


	5. Chapter 5

**The Day The World Went Mad**

Chapter 5

* * *

**A/N:** Master Chief? Lol (suddenly gets addicted to Halo again)

**Some Disclaimer Dude: **Now for some real A/N: Hello! Welcome to the wonderful world of FF.N, where we will give (shot)

**Gonzales:** (Blows smoke off gun)

* * *

"Oh my GAWD," yelled Mario as the boat was sinking. "I'm drowning! I will never get to do everything I wanted, including getting my way with Pr..."

"Um..., the hole's pretty small," said Link. "We can plug it up or something."

"If only Wario was here. He's always plugging up the toilets," said Mario.

"But we'd be dead by now when he arrives," groaned Roy.

"How many times do I have to tell you, only regular-shaped people can talk?" said Link.

"Quick, gimme one of those Fireflowers," Yoshi told Mario, as he grabbed a welding filler rod out of nowhere. "We can still weld the boat back together."

So minutes passed as Yoshi heated up the metal as he fed the rod as he welded a piece of metal to the hole. The weld fitted perfectly, but the flame ran out.

"Aww man, I was almost done. Do you have another one?"

Mario fumbled in his pockets.

"No. All gone!"

"No! I can't believe this is happening," cried Link as the piece of metal fell off, which resulted in an even bigger hole.

"Wait!" said Roy. "I see a Coast Guard ship in the distance. Maybe we can call for help."

"Dude!" said Mario as he pulled out his cell phone. "I just got the bestest idea in the world. I'll call 911. Wait, what's the number for 911?"

_Idiot,_ thought Roy.

Mario furiously dialed 911 as a male voice sounding like someone from some 1 (800) TV commercial answered.

"Thanks for calling the 911 hotline. If you think the weather sucks, press 1. If you want to know what Gonzales512's up to, press 2. If you are in trouble press 3."

Mario pressed 3.

"If someone's jacking your Mercedes, press 1. If someone's trying to kill you because you work for the government, press 2. If your idiot brother spilled gasoline and ended up throwing his cigarette on the floor, causing a 9999999999 alarm fire, press 3. If you are stuck with idiots in the middle of the ocean, press 4."

Mario pressed 4.

"I'm not an idiot," whined Roy.

"If you're stuck in the Dead Sea because it's trying to get revenge on you for killing it, press 1. If you're stuck in the Yellow Sea because you decided to take a piss in it, press 2. If you are stuck in the Red Sea because you're convicted of murder, press 3. If you're stuck on any US lake or bay, press 4.

Mario pressed 4.

"If you're in the Great Lakes, press 1. If you're in the Columbia River, press 2. If you're rolling 15 miles from Gonzales512's home in the Tuolomne river, press 3. If you're lost in the world of SimCity 4, press 4. If you're out in the Missis..."

"Aww, screw it," yelled Mario as he threw the phone in the water, causing a huge electrical discharge as many fish and a random scuba diver floated in the water. A huge whale floated in the middle of the bay, creating a bridge to the city.

"That was easy," said Link as they walked on the dead whale to San Francisco where Luigi was eating a Quadruple Cheeseburger.

"Woah!" said Mario as he was surprised. "Where did Pichu come from?"

Then Pichu came out of nowhere.

"It all started 8 years ago, when I was born. I was inside my mother's body. I was hearing a guy they called a doctor. And he didn't sound nice. He said that I was ready. Then my mother started making those sounds that didn't sound right. It was bugging me, as I was being squeezed around. The doctor was there, looking there. I was coming through a hole and found out it was called a v..."

"Okay, we get it. You're were born. Everyone goes through the same process. I was talking about where'd you come from 5 minutes ago?"

"I heard news you guys crashed so I set off on a journey to save Princess Peach. I found out the mosquito lived somewhere in Smash City."

"Wait, then why did we come here then?" said Link as everyone glared at Mario.

"Uhh... hey... look at those seagulls," said Mario as he ran away.

"Cooooool, seagulls," said Link.

"I've never seen one before," said Roy like he was hypnotized.

"Soooooooooo hungry," Yoshi said as his stomach rumbled and ate the seagulls.

"NOOOOOO!" screamed Roy. "Oh, the humanity!"

* * *

Meanwhile, inside the computer, Dr. Mario and Ike were inside. They were in the middle of the woods, occasionally seeing a "window" or an "icon."

"How much farther do we have to walk," Dr. Mario complained. "We've been walking for five minutes already."

"You've got to be the laziest doctor I've ever met. That's why you got fired from the hospital the other day..."

* * *

Dr. Mario was at the Smash City Memorial Hospital working as a pharmacist as he got a customer in his window.

"How may I help you," said Dr. Mario.

Then the guy grabs him by his tie, (he was wearing a tie that day) and pulls out a gun. Pit, who was in the waiting room waiting for his X-ray results, jumped out the window of the 6th floor. Everyone was screaming all over the place which surprisingly cured herpes in most of their patients and causing the Exodus of lab rats.

"I'm free!" yelled Pikachu.

Dr. Mario just sat on his chair, staring at people running all over the place as the guy with the gun stared coldly at him.

"Um... how may I help you?" asked Dr. Mario again.

"Gimme all your cash right now or I'll bust your lip open," demanded the guy

"Um... yeah, I think the mental institution is right next door. Just walk down the hallway towards the East Wing; third door to your left," said Dr. Mario.

"I AM NOT MENTALLY INSANE," yelled the guy as he loaded his gun.

"The anger management course will begin in 10 minutes, see that red building out there," Dr. Mario said as he pointed out the window.

"That's where you should be."

Then the guy got really mad and ended up turning into a monster truck, which then sped around the hospital, trying to run Dr. Mario over, but crashed through the window. Dr. Mario dispatched an ambulance which arrived at the hospital 30 minutes later. Then the guy took a big check from the insurance company and Dr. Mario was fired for the long response time. But then they found out the guy was an illegal immigrant and was deported to Mexico.

* * *

"Yeah, but it wasn't my fault," said Dr. Mario. "And besides, I get paid to be a Smasher," said Dr. Mario as he pulled out a paycheck.

"Let's see how much I made this week," said Dr. Mario as he put on his glasses.

"... 384.58 dollars?" Dr. Mario was stunned. "How much are they paying me? Minimum wage?"

"Um... you get paid 8 dollars an hour. Yep, that's minimum wage. Master Hand said that he was gonna cut the paychecks this month."

"That stupid hand..., glove, whatever he is."

Then they were suddenly attacked by viruses.

"Gwa ha ha, I'm Virunator, and I am here to let you know that we are holding your Fox in our castle, and you can't save him. Gwa ha ha. Get 'im," yelled Virunator as three viruses came out.

Dr. Mario pulled out a vial of Viagra and threw the pills at the viruses. Surprisingly, the viruses grew.

"What the hell..." Dr. Mario's jaw dropped. "Stupid Viagra!"

"Um... I forgot to tell you, I put a roll of those Smarties candy in that vial. So that's pretty much virus fuel," Ike explained.

"WHAT!"

"I thought you'd notice. I don't think Viagra's that colorful."

Then a virus bit Ike.

"Wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!1 I don't wanna die! I'm TOO young to die!"

Then Dr. Mario pulled out a AA battery and threw it at a virus. The virus disintegrated as Dr. Mario pulled out more AA batteries. He threw another one at a virus that was running away and disintegrated also.

"Yay!" yelled Ike. "One more."

"Okay, let's see what this D battery can do," said Dr. Mario as he pulled out a D battery and threw it at the remaining virus but instead of disintegrating, it exploded, causing chaos and serious defragmentation in the computeristic world.

"I'll be back," said Virunator as he left.

"Okay, now let's go save Fox," said Ike.

Then the ground started shaking all of a sudden, causing a massive earthquake, creating a huge crack on the ground. They stood at either side of the crack as it spread.

"DON'T LEAVE ME," yelled Dr. Mario. But it was too late. The huge crack had already separated Dr. Mario and Ike and a huge wall of lava came gushing out of the crack, blocking them for good.

"Nooooooooooooooooooo!!

* * *

**A/N: **Okay, chapter 5 complete. Just what will happen to Dr. Mario and Ike. How will they save Fox now. And how will the remaining smashers save Princess Peach? Just wait for the next chapter!

**Serious A/N: **Okay, for those who know me in the forums, I will not, yes I said NOT be here on Thursdays or Fridays as of this week. WOO-HOO FRIDAY NIGHT!

Until next time! Thanks to FEMM, Iruka Aoi, Xiaolin Guy, Yoshizilla, Fireemblemaddict128, Celebaby20, Shinyjiggly, timberwolf21 and all other people who reviewed! By the way (to timberwolf21, the author refers to me :D)

- Gonzales512


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